Operation Wingmen
by Kireen
Summary: A drunken Admiral, Sniper and Guardian Beast discover a secret about a certain Librarian and they decide to help him to solve it within the night. This situation has the potential to end particualrly badly, or particulary well, it depends on how you see it.
1. Prologue

**A/N: Sup guys, I'm here with a little thing that I started posting in the Nanoha FF topic on AS, mostly out of boredom, and I finally decided to post it here.**

**And I'm saying it here once and for all, I own notheing.**

**Well, there's not much more to say, let's start.**

* * *

**Operation Wingmen.**

One can say that Chrono Harlaown is a busy person, TSAB Admiral, father of two children, talented mage and the one that people tend to seek when it's time to pay the bills for the massive property damage that some of his most enthusiastic friends seem to generate during their fights.

But, despite his dedication to his work, he needs to take a break every once in while like every normal person, forgetting his about his work, his family and PR for just a day.

That's why four men were sitting around a table in a random pub in Cranagan, obviously the blue haired admiral, Yuuno Scrya, the chief librarian of the Infinite Libray and probably Chrono's best friend, (not that any one of the two would ever admit it in public) who was just dragged out from his workplace a couple of minutes ago by his friend, in what he called an act of pity toward endangered species. Seriously, the man looked like he could use a couple of days of sleep.

Next to the blond haired librarian was Vice Grandscenic, excellent sniper and chopper pilot, always present when booze and pretty waitress where present, and strangely enough a good friend with the rest of the group thanks to what they called their sessions of male bonding, with the great majority of their mutual friends being female, they all needed a day every once in a while in which they could let out their masculinity freely.

Last but not least, Zafira, Hayate's guarding beast who, even with his great sense of loyalty, needed every once in a while a pause form his all-female family. Also the Comiket was nearing, so the proud Zafira proudly ran away, and was planning on disappearing for a couple of days, he loved Hayate dearly, but he was not going to be a dress up doll willingly.

Each and every one of them was there to escape from work, family and to enjoy the company of some fellow males, get drunk, and discuss some very important business away from the earshot of some of their other friends, like for example which waitress had the biggest rack; very important business indeed.

"That new brunette in definitely my type, I'm gonna ask her number." The sniper declared once he had his target in sight, gulped down the contents of his mug and mentally prepared for the mission.

"Ten bucks that she'll just laugh and give him a fake number." Chrono declared once the sniper got up, putting a bill on the table.

"Ten that he'll get the real one… this time." Yuuno said adding his own bill.

"Ten that he'll make a stupid comment and will get slapped in the face, returning here empty handed." Zafira added his own bill on top of the other two, maintaining his usual stoic demeanor.

And what the guardian beast predicted happened right in front of the other two eyes as the white haired man took his win with a smug smile on his face, and handing half of it to the grinning man hat sat back again at their table.

"Totally worth it!" Vice said grinning and pocketing his half while massaging his red cheek, enjoying the faces of two other members of the group.

"Che, you plotting bastards." Chrono snorted taking a sip from his mug. "If you continue like this you'll never find a woman."

"Pff Admiral, my kill count is already higher than yours."

"As if that's difficult to surpass." Yuuno immediately jumped at the rare occasion to tease his friend. "One isn't exactly a result to gloat bout, and I don't see it going up soon."

"Umu…" Zafira nodded sagely with a smirk on his face.

"Yeah, gang in the poor married man." Chrono snorted. "I wish you all twins."

"Urk…please have mercy, I'm still too young and handsome to die." Vice replied laughing awkwardly. "But I'm sure that the Professor here has plenty of interesting stories for us, with all these sexy librarians around you, life in there must be a bliss."

"Ghe…"

"What's wrong oh Almighty Ferret, too embarrassed to share your stories." Chrono teased his embarrassed friend.

"I-It's not like that…" Yuuno trailed of, searching his mind for a new topic. "I-It's just that…"

"Scrya, could it be that you are…" Zafira started, giving his an evaluative stare. "…Yeah, that must be it." The guardian beast nodded to himself, receiving two set of curious looks from the sniper and the admiral.

"What do you mean Zafs?" Vice decided to inquire.

"That's not my place to say…"

"Wait…Could it be that…" Chrono started as realization hit him like an arrow. "…Oh my good Ferret-boy, you're still pure!" He shouted pointing a finger toward the embarrassed librarian.

"Ghe, no need to shout it from the rooftops." Yuuno replied blushing.

"The situation is more grave than what I could have imagined." Chrono, probably affected by the alcohol and having left his professional side locked inside his office, started to ramble incoherently shaking his head.

"This is serious business indeed." Vice agreed nodding.

"Agreed." Zafira nodded as well.

"Even you Zafira." Yuuno sighed, slamming his open palm on his face. "And here I thought that you were asexual."

"Wolf, thousand years and female masters." The white haired man replied shrugging. "I had more than what I wanted, that's why I usually stay in my wolf form most of the time to try to blend with the furniture."

Somehow the three other men had the vision of a toothed big furry blue armchair on which no one dared to seat.

"This situation requires immediate action." Chrono declared, apparently snapping out from his ramblings. "I'm willing to admit that I'm partially at fault for this."

"I have a bad feeling about this…" Yuuno muttered, Chrono never admits when he's at fault, something bad was going to happen.

"Rejoice Yuuno Scrya because tonight your wish will be granted." Chrono declared standing up and opening his arms, looking somehow like a certain fake priest. "Cause we're going to perform one of the most sacred duty a man can perform for another one, for tonight we're going to be your Wingmen."

"Rest assured Professor, even if we must die tonight, I promise you that you'll get some." Vice declared, following Chrono example and standing up to put a hand on his drink buddy's shoulder.

"This guardian beast will follow you till the end of this sacred task." Zafira added as well, taking place on the opposite side of Vice, not drunk like the other two, but willing to see how this will end just for shit and giggles.

"Alright then, Zafira, restrain the ferret, Vice, procure some more alcohol." Chrono started to order, emptying his mug and assuming the same expression he would have in the middle of an important operation. "Let the operation Wingmen being!" He dramatically declared with fire burning in his eyes.

"Yes Sir!" His two accomplices replied giving him a salute and immediately starting to perform their duties.

* * *

**A/N: Ok, from now on every chapter is an alternative ending to this little introduction, faturing one or more character from Canon and various AUs, if they can manage to make you crack a smile then I can consider myself happy.**

**As I also said on AS this was made only for fun, if you want to send me your own Report about a character I have not written yet, an alternative one about one I already made, feel free to do so by sending me a PM her, on AS or TFF.**

**Bye**


	2. Report 01 Seikou

**A/N: Here we go with the first one, hope you'll enjoy it.**

**Mission Report 01: Wisdom**

The next morning Yuuno got up with the strongest headache he had ever since he tried to use his scrying spell on fifty books at time to try to speed up his work, not exactly his smartest plan ever.

He was sure that this was going to be his worst hangover, not the first, definitely not the last, but he doubted that anything else could top this one. The only good thing was that he felt somehow…good. That was the only way he could describe how his body was feeling, headache aside.

It took him a while to reboot his brain and try to remember what happened last night after Operation Wingmen started, but with very little success. It was then that he finally noticed that someone was staring at him from his left side.

"Good morning Professor." A familiar monotone voice welcomed him as he turned his head to that side.

One his head was turned, he immediately recognized the pair of piercing blue eyes that were staring intently at him, a face that he knew too well with just some minor differences and her figure. The only difference form the usual was the small smile that crossed her lips, completely replacing her usually blank expression.

"S-Stern?" He stuttered once his brain was finally able to process all the information around him: clothes thrown around the room, the strange pleasant soreness of his body and most importantly the fact that he and his bedmate were naked. "Oh my god, what happened yesterday?" He asked in a panicked tone failing to remember what exactly happened the previous day.

"We had sex." The material of Wisdom replied bluntly in a matter of fact tone, still maintaining the unusual small smile on her face, getting up, not looking distressed in the least by her state of undress.

"Ghe…" The librarian winced at the girl's bluntness. "I…I'm sorry!" He finally managed to say bowing his head as he caught himself staring at her body.

"Why are you apologizing?" The clone of his long time crush asked cutely tilting her head to the side. "I was happy to have this opportunity to become one with Professor."

"Uh?" Yuuno asked dumbly, not having expected such reaction.

"I enjoyed deeply last night." She bluntly replied again, this time blushing a bit. "Are you displeased?"

"Ah…N-no." He replied flailing his hands in front of him as flashes of last night started to flood his mind.

"Very well then." Stern nodded starting to crawl on top of him, giving him a good show of her body.

"S-Stern, what are you doing?" He asked blushing and trying to turn his head to not look, but finding it impossible as the girl's hands were keeping it in place.

"Round two." The Starlight Destroyer replied as her smile grew even larger, sealing the librarian's lips before he could have time to reply.

Before his mind went blank Yuuno's last thought was that he had to thank the others next time he saw them.

Sitting on his dining table Chrono silently cheered at his operation success raising his mug of coffee.

"You look somehow satisfied this morning." Amy noted grinning as she watched him grin back at her. "Did something good happen last night?"

"Oh, nothing much, I just managed to restored a bit of my karma and earn a couple of favor from a couple of people." He vaguely replied as he watched the congratulation messages from his fellow Wingmen.


	3. Report 02 Amy

**Mission Report 02: Extreme measures.**

The next morning Yuuno got up in an unfamiliar room with the worst headache he had ever had in years, failing to remember what had happened last night. He didn't know why but he felt the urge to blame Chrono for something that at the moment was escaping him.

"?" Just as he turned his head to the side he found himself face to face with the man he was feeling the urge to strangle. "Oh my god, please don't tell me that we did…"

"Hold your horses Ferret-boy." Chrono stopped him clutching his head in pain. "I'm fairly sure that there is no damage on my end."

"And there aren't on mine too." Yuuno nodded as he checked his body, especially a certain side. "Then, what the hell happened?"

"I have no idea, what do you, remember?"

"Last thing I remember is you three making me drink like a sponge and then going around making a fool of ourselves." Yuuno started as he tried to remember all the details about the previous day. "And then in the end you declared that the situation requested for extreme measures."

"Oh… it think that I'm starting to remember…"

"…Wait… me too…"

"Oh Shit!" They cursed in perfect sync as they turned their head to look downward at the third person on the bed.

Between them, still sleeping with a blissful expression on her face, was laying Amy, who decided to wake up right in that moment.

"Good morning." She replied smiling radiantly at the two of them. "What's wrong?" She then asked as she noticed that their eyes showed clear signs of a mental BSOD.

"What did exactly happen yesterday?" Chrono, the first to recover, asked.

"Uhm…I was a bit surprised yesterday when you two barged in completely wasted and you asked me to do a threesome shouting that if balls don't touch it's not gay." His wife immediately replied, making him pale and swear that he would not touch any more booze for a while. "But it was amazing, I didn't think that you two together could be this good. We should do this some other times." She added, flashing them with a radiant smile

"Uh?" The two men asked in unison staring at each other.

"Now I understand what I meant for Extreme Measures." Chrono frowned.

Oh well, at least his wife seemed happy, he noted, and he maintained his promise maybe he could just shrug this off and forget about it.

Or he could make the Ferret his personal salve for this, yeah, that worked too.


	4. Report 03 Nanoha

**Mission Report 03: Devil.**

The next morning Yuuno got up with the worst hangover he had in his entire life, he didn't know why, but he was sure that Chrono was to be blamed for that.

The blonde librarian would have gotten up from the comfort of his bed to splash some cold water on his face to rub off the last traces of sleepiness, but he found himself incapable of doing so for two simple reasons, he was feeling too exhausted to even lift a finger, and there was something that prevented him from getting up.

He could feel something warm snuggling on his left side, and something nuzzling around his neck.

Of one thing he was now sure, someone was sleeping hugged to him, if the rhythmic breathing was of any indication.

Using what little was left of his strength her moved his head to take a look at who his bedmate was, and a wide smile crossed his lips once he noticed a familiar mane of auburn hair resting on his chest.

Maybe, and just maybe, he was not going to show Chrono, Vice and Zafira certain not very well known and definitely not enjoyable applications of binding spells.

"Good morning…" His bedmate sleepily greeted him, snuggling closer as she opened her eyes.

"Good morning Nanoha." He greeted the girl who has been in his heart ever since that fateful day many years ago, receiving a playful kiss on his lips in return.

"It looks like you managed to recover form yesterday." She told him after spending some time checking on her childhood friend's condition.

"Eh? What happened yesterday?"

"Well…when I met you and the others yesterday you were acting a bit strange…" Nanoha replied trying to look for the right words.

"Strage?"

"Well, when I found you four you all where quite drunk…" The Ace of Aces started her story. "…You were riding on Zafira shouting that you where the Kaiser Flettchen the first and that the world was going to be yours…"

"Urk…"

"And Chrono-kun and Vice-kun were bowing in front of you saying that they weren't worthy of being in your presence and acting as your servants."

"Geh…" Yuuno in that moment knew that he had to murder the three idiots even if it was going to be the last thing he did in his life. He had no regrets anymore by the look of things.

"And then Vice-kun suddenly started to feel sick, so Chrono-kun and Zafira asked me if I could keep an eye on you while the walked him toward the hospital." Nanoha continued her story about what happened the previous day. "You were barely able to walk straight."

"…" Yuuno in that moment had a quick flash of Vice grinning toward him and giving him a salute together with his self-appointed Wingmen. Maybe he was going to grant them a whish before strangling them.

"And then on our way home…Y-You confessed to me on our way home…" The legendary White Devil continued, blushing at the thought of the librarian bold declaration of love, as said librarian decided to start a competition on who could reach the brightest shade of red. "I'm sorry Yuuno-kun, if I had noticed earlier…"

"It's ok; I was not the most straight forward suitor too." Yuuno lied, knowing well enough that most of the people told him that it was painfully obvious that he liked her for a long time.

"Nyahahahahahah, I'm sorry for having been so dense." Nanoha apologized again. "I'm sorry that I hurt you."

"Don't be, it's ok now." He reassured her, softly kissing her on her forehead. "But I still don't remember why I'm feeling so tired."

"Ehm… you could say that thing got a little heated once we arrived here…" Nanoha replied, reaching a shade of red that was probably not humanly possible to reach. "…We might have gotten a bit enthusiastic…" She continued, snuggling closer to hide her embarrassed face on his chest.

"Ahahah, you're probably right." He awkwardly laughed as he finally remembered last night action.

Then, even if he had no energy to lift his boy from the bed, something else decided to rise as the librarian0s mind was stimulated by the contact with his lover body and the memories from the previous day. He just hoped that she would not notice it; anything more would probably cost him his life in his state.

"Oh, it seems like someone is ready for another session." He was not lucky enough.

And that day the chief librarian of the Infinite Library discovered that the legendary Ace of Aces was a devil both in the field and in the bed, he could now die as a happy man.


	5. Report 04 Hayate

**Mission Report 04: Roleplay.**

The next mor…Screw this you know the drill already.

Once he was awake Yuuno could feel the weight of something on his chest, something warm and breathing.

Upon opening his eyes the young librarian found himself face to face with a pair of mischievous deep blue eyes and a playful grin.

"Good morning Professor Jones." The woman on top of him cheerfully greeted him with a playful kiss on the lips.

"H-Hayate?" He asked immediately recognizing the Queen of the Night Sky even if she was wearing a pair of rimmed glasses on her face and some sort of teacher attire, and why on earth was he wearing a sand colored shirt and a fedora hat. "What happened, and where are we?" He asked as he failed to recognize the room he was in.

"Silly, we are in my room, and Zafira brought you here because he didn't trust to leave you on your own after how much you all drunk yesterday." Hayate replied, rolling her eyes at his reaction. "Don't you remember when you raided my Lost Ark?" She asked grinning at him

"Eh?"

"Aw, you forgot already of when you explored my Temple of Doom." The girl known as the living Lost Logia pouted cutely as the librarian blushed as his memory stared to flow back to him. "We had so much fun last night, and you looked so dashing in the outfit I made you wear, what do you think?." She added, showing him a picture of him, in what he recognized as the clothes that had been thrown on the floor, brandishing a whip, probably the one at the feet of the bed, and striking a pose while holding Hayate, in another the same outfit she was wearing that morning, with his free hand.

"Yeah, it looks good." He was force to admit, maybe he could ask her to help replicate the look during his next dig, and somehow it looked just right for that purpose. Little he knew that simple request could just backfire on him so badly in so many ways. "And you also look really good too." He added.

"Eheh." Hayate giggled at the compliment, already planning for new outfits she wanted to try on him and rewarding him with a soft kiss on his lips. "Glad that it was of your liking Professor Jones."

"Who's this professor Jones?" He then asked, he knew some things about Earth, but he was still not too familiar with pop culture.

"Oh, I'll have lots of time to teach you." The TSAB colonel told him in a dismissing tone. "I already made breakfast, let's go down for now."

He immediately nodded at the proposal, putting on the Indiana Jones costume again since there was sign in the room of the clothes he had on the previous day, eager to taste the legendary cooking of Hayate again.

Very little he knew that a certain group of knight was already waiting downstairs, ready to perform the sacred ritual of the Belkan wedding AKA the Laeventin&Graf Eisen Wedding.

Zafira had quite a bit of fun that day.


	6. Report 05 Uno, Tre, Quattro, Sette

**A/N: I have no idea from where this came out, but I think that's my best one so far.**

**Mission Report 05: Someone isn't going to be happy.**

The first thing that Yuuno Scrya noticed upon waking up that morning, formidable hangover aside, was that he had not slept in his own bedroom, nor in his office in the Library.

The biggest clue was that he apparently was seating on some throne like seat, the armchair in his office was by no mean as comfortable as his current seat.

The second thing he noticed was that he was not alone, if the sound of typing keys was of any indication.

"Good morning Professor." A female voice purred in delight as another occupant of the room noticed that he had finally woken up. "We were all wandering when our savior would have finally woken up." A bespectacled brunette with golden eyes continued as she turned her head form the terminal she was working with.

"Q-Quattro?" Yuuno asked immediately recognizing the Combat Cyborg in front of him, wondering why the hell she was there, wasn't she supposed to be locked in a maximum security penal colony?

"Ah, Professor Scrya you've finally woken up." Another woman, a purple haired one with eyes identical to the ones of the other female inside the room and dressed in a secretary uniform, greeted him as she stepped inside the room, giving him a seductive smile. "The Doctor couldn't wait to speak with you, I'll open a communication channel immediately."

"U-Uno? Doctor?" Yuuno dumbly demanded, as he asked himself if he was still dreaming and why his friends' former enemies sounded so happy to see him.

"Oh good morning son in law!" A purple haired man in a lab coat excitedly waved at him through the newly opened holographic screen. "I'm happy to inform you that the plan we prepared last night is already in action, just few months and everything will be ready."

"Scaglietti? Son in law? Plan?" Yuuno asked starting to panic, what the hell was happening there?

"Hehe, the Professor was amazing last night." Quattro purred in delight, taking a seat on his right. "The way in which you easily hacked into the security system of the penitentiary was also noteworthy."

"Not to mention the way in which you managed to steal maximum security information from the TSAB archives and easily get a hold on the necessary funds to begin our plan without anyone noticing." Uno added in an adoring tone, taking the place on his left.

"At first I was not happy about how your behavior with my daughter, but seeing them so happy, especially Tre and Sette, I decided to give you all my blessing." The mad scientist added from his new laboratory. "And the fact that you also managed to provide me with the plans to build another Saint Craddle, and even a powered up one for the matter, the improved designs for my Combat Cyborgs plus genetic material from the Ace of Aces, Enforcer Harlaown, The Queen of the night Sky and all the Wolkenritter only managed to raise my respect for you son in law."

"Oh my god, what have I done?" Yuuno asked palming his face, and magically pulling the trigger for his memories to return in the process.

He remembered how humiliated he felt last night after having been pitied by his friends, and the promise that he would demonstrate to his drink buddies that he was more than a nerdy librarian ferret. Apparently he had gone a bit too far.

"Oh, Professor Scrya is up." Tre noted, stepping iside the room followed by Sette. "Then I hope that our new accomplice is ready for another round…or two." The tall cyborg smirked, taking a hold of their new friend with her pink haired sister and dragging him toward their bedroom followed immediately by their other two sisters.

"You shall fear not son in law, just give me few months and the new generation of Cyborgs and the new Craddle will be ready, and the worlds will be ours." Jail said in a reassuring tone seeing the librarian try to struggle from the grip of his daughter. "For now you can all enjoy your honeymoon until everything is ready, have fun." He added waving good bye before closing the communication channel.

Before passing out from exhaustion Yuuno was sure of one thing: someone was not going to be pleased with this.

Several people on Mid-Childa felt a cold shiver run down from their back, like if the pits of hell had opened right under their feet.


	7. Report 06 Fate

**Mission Report 06: Lightning.**

Once Yuuno Scrya woke up the next morning, feeling what was probably going to remembered as the most terrible headache recorded in history, he almost immediately noticed that something was different from usual as he could feel his arm trapped between very warm and soft.

Opening his eyes to scan his surroundings, he immediately recognized where his arm was placed.

Peacefully sleeping beside him, and hugging him like a human sized teddy bear, was probably one of the most beautiful women he knew, looking absolutely adorable as she continued to sleep with a goofy smile on her face.

Sadly, the librarian could not continue to admire the scene in front of his eyes as the woman, probably alerted by his movement, suddenly opened her eyes, immediately letting out a cute squeak as she registered who was her bedmate.

'_Chrono's little sister can't be this cute!'_ The librarian screamed in his mind as he watched Fate trying to cover her naked body with the blankets as her face started to slowly assume the same coloration of her eyes.

"G-g-good morning Y-Yuuno." She greeted him once she was able to calm down a bit after taking few deep breaths, blushing again under his stare.

"Ah, good morning Fate…" He replied, realizing that he was still staring, and immediately turning his eyes away from the other blonde. "Sorry…" He awkwardly apologized rubbing the back of his head.

"I…I should be the one apologizing…" The enforcer muttered in a small voice, making Yuuno wonder about what she was talking about, his memories form last night were quite hazy. "I should have not taken advantage of your condition last night…I should have not blurted out my feelings for you…"

As he heard those words, Yuuno's memories hit him like a sudden lighting, making him remember what happened the previous night.

At some point, after going out from the pub, he found himself divided from his drink buddies, and not knowing what else to do he decided to wobble toward his apartment, and finding himself lost after few minutes since he was not familiar with that area of Cranagan.

Then, as if fate itself wanted for them to meet exactly in that place, he met Fate, who was running an errand for her adoptive mother.

Seeing her childhood friend in that condition, the kind enforcer immediately decided to help him, and at some point during their walk toward his home, seeing that as her chance, she mastered her courage and declared her feeling for him.

What happened next could be easily guessed just by taking a quick glance at the condition of the room.

"No, don't be." The librarian interrupted her. "I'm sorry that I didn't notice before…I guess that I was being dense."

And speaking of being dense, Yuuno thought that maybe he owned some apologies to Nanoha, he had been as bad as her, thinking for all these years that the burgundy eyed enforcer was trying to cockblock him when, instead, she was trying to get his attention.

"This is Cupid-1 to Titania, main mission objective achieved." A certain blue haired mage reported in front of a communication window. "Mission accomplished."

"Good work you three!" The teal haired ring leader congratulated with her task force in a cheerful tone. "I can't wait to see my new grandchildren."

"Wait, wait, wait… are you telling me that this was all planned from the start?" Cupid-3, the sniper of the team, asked in a shocked tone.

"Obviously, who do you think I am?" The team leader snorted with a smug grin on his face.

"Harlaowns… never let you guard down around them." The last member of the task force muttered as he palmed his face.


	8. Report 07 Signum

**A/N: A bit unsure about this, but it was either this or a AschenMode!Signum, this won.**

**Mission Report 07: Duel.**

The first thought that crossed Yuuno's mind that morning, curses toward Chrono aside, was that the pillow he was currently using was not his own.

Still in a mostly dazed stated, he unconsciously moved up one of his hands, finding himself squeezing something round shaped, warm and soft, yet firm.

The young librarian immediately opened his eyes once he heard a soft moan near his ears, finding himself in a situation he would have never imagined to find himself into.

Looking up his green eyes locked with a pair of familiar blue ones, but the usual stoic expression of the person whose ample breast he was using as a pillow was not there, in its place there was a small satisfied smile. That was also probably the first time in which he had seen Signum with her hair untied.

"Scrya." She greeted him with a simple nod of her head. "It looks like you still have some energy in you after our last night duel." She added, making him notice that he was still squeezing her other breast.

"S-Signum?" He asked, immediately retracting his hand and crawling away. "Duel?" He then asked with a puzzled expression on his face.

"I have to admit that to possess an excellent sword." The Blazing General of Fire started her explanation.

"…" Her words only added more confusion in the rebooting mind of the young man.

"Who would have thought that in your condition you could have put up such a fight…" Signum continued her story with a hint of admiration in her tone. "I surely didn't expect to find such a fine opponent after a rescued you from those three idiots."

"Eh?"

"I would have never imagined witnessing such a brutal, yet elegant display of swordsmanship." The leader of the Wolkenritter continued her tale, fixing a hungry gaze toward her confused bedmate. "Your technique and endurance were praiseworthy."

"Ehm…Signum…?" Yuuno was starting to feel a little scared of her gaze; he was starting to feel like a piece of meat in front of an entire pack of wolves.

"Had I know that you were such an amazing swordsman I would have taken you way before." The pinkette continued her rant ignoring the scared librarian. "Scrya, from now on I claim you as my sword, and I shall be yours."

"W-what?"

"Now, get ready, our battle shall resume." Signum finally declared, moving to stand on top of him, hungrily licking her lips in anticipation of the carnage that was going to begin.

"SOMEONE HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Somewhere else three knights gave a stiff salute toward the sky as the soul of a certain chief librarian started its journey toward a better place.


	9. Report 08 Dearche

**A/N: Inspired by HubiKoshi.**

**Mission Report 08: Hail to the Queen!**

Upon waking up the next morning Yuuno Scrya was sure that something strange was going on, if his headache, the rhythmic movement of his bed and the moans of pleasure where of any indication.

Wait a second... moans of pleasure…

"What the…" The confused librarian stared to say as he noticed the grey haired girl riding on top of him. "D-Dearche what are you doing?"

"Isn't that obvious, peasant?" The Queen of the purple sky replied quirking an eyebrow, without stopping her activity. "And who gave you the permission to address US by OUR name mongrel?" She then asked in an irate tone as a loud crack echoed inside the room and a sharp pain erupted from Yuuno's cheek as the whip in the girl's hands hit him with chirurgical precision.

"Yes…I mean… Yes your majesty…urgh…how did this happen?" The archeologist asked rubbing his hurt cheek and blushing at the sight of the girl's leather attire that did very little to nothing to cover her minute body, and at the lewd sounds that their activity was producing.

"Ah, WE rightfully stole you from the three drunk lowlifes and WE brought you here to have some fun with you peasant, you should be honored." Dearche replied in a matter of fact tone. "But WE have to admit that WE were expecting a little more enjoyment from such activities, but WE guess that We can't expect too much from commoners."

"Hey, what do you mean?" Yuuno barked back as he felt a stab in his pride as a male. "You don't look to dissatisfied from my performance by the looks of things."

"Be quiet Mongrel!" The Hayate clone shouted as she blushed in embarrassment and hit him again with her whip. "Who gave you permission to speak to US in such manner, learn your place peasant!"

"Ah...!" The librarian gasped in pain, and because his endurance had hit his limit.

"Tsk, who gave you permission to finish before US." Dearche barked in an irritated tone, standing up to look down on her prey.

"It was you fault for surprising me." The librarian complained.

"Tsk, as if it could ever be OUR fault!" Dearche snorted back. "I guess that there is no other choice." She then added, moving toward a suspicious bag waiting on the ground near their thrown away clothes.

"Oh my god, what is that thing?" Yuuno squeaked in fear as he caught sight of the content of said bag.

"Why a tool of sex of course." The grey haired girl replied nonchalantly as she played around with the gigantic thing. "And on a side note, definitely of higher quality if compared to you meager one."

"And what do you intend to do with that precisely?"

"Shouldn't be that obvious commoner?" Dearche replied grinning. "The queen herself shall teach you the proper way to please someone, be grateful peasant."

"B-But… Oh my god…please stay away from me with that thing." The librarian started to stutter in panic as he watched her grin become wider the closer she moved toward him.

"Rejoice mongrel, because from today you shall be MY mongrel."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"


	10. Report 09 Fem Yuuno

**A/N: The proof that rule 63 exists XD.**

**Mission Report 09: Not exactly as planned.**

The next morning Yuuno Scrya's usually hyperactive mind was having a hard time rebooting after the abnormal quantity of alcohol he had ingested, and god knows what Chrono and the two other idiots had made him do while he was not in full possession of his mental faculties.

Seriously, why was he feeling so tired, and why was his head hurting so much. The three bastards were pretty much signed in for the worst torture he could come up with.

Maybe he could call in some favor from his insanely powerful childhood friends to have some help in his holy quest.

Finally, once his brain slowly started to work again, the young librarian finally managed to get up to a sitting position, massaging his temples as he tried to remember what happened, slowly turning his head as he heard a rustling sound from his side.

"Uhm?...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Two identical voices shouted at the same time as a pair of emerald green eyes met an identical one.

"What the hell…" Yuuno muttered as he stared at what looked like a reflection of his face on a mirror, only more feminine, and he was sure that those were definitely breasts, and fairly large ones by his standards.

If it was one of Chrono's jokes, it was definitely not funny.

"Oh, my god, if this is one of Hayate's jokes it's not funny." His female counterpart voiced his thoughts, but apparently it looked like their first suspect was quite different.

"I'd really love to tell you that this is all a joke, but I'm sadly in your same condition." He replied giving her an apologetic look. "And by the way, on my side I think that it was Chrono's fault."

"But Chrono always treats me nicely." The female Yuuno replied looking stupefied from his declaration.

"So does my Hayate."

"She always calls me Ferret-girl, and she never misses an occasion to prank me."

"Welcome to the club, Ferret-boy here." Yuuno shrugged.

"Oh hell, that was my first time." The female blonde cried. " Wait, does it count as mastur…"

"Stop!" The male one stopped her, extending one hand. "Please don't go in Hayate's territory."

"Well, at least some things are the same even in different universes." Fem-Yuuno sighed, letting out a small giggle.

Yuuno had to mentally kick himself, reminding that the one in from of him was an alternate version of himself, not just a pretty girl, better keep his thoughts in check.

"So, how did this happen?" He finally asked after taking a deep breath.

"I have some theories." Fem-Yuuno replied rubbing her temples.

"I have some too, let's compare notes."

*Three hours of magi-technobabble and a breakfast later.*

"Soooo, the best of what the two of us could come up with is a Lost Logia did it and it's all Chrono/Hayate's fault." Male Yuuno sighed in defeat. "It's rather depressing."

"Agreed." Fem Yuuno nodded. "I guess that the only thing we can do is focusing on what we can do for now."

"Yeah, I was just going to propose that too."

"So, are you thinking what I'm thinking?" The female one asked smirking.

"If it involves lots of mindfuck and binds then I think that we are on the same channel."

"As I hoped, let's get started."

That day two pranksters form different universes understood that what they did the previous night was not exactly their best plan ever.

One meek ferret was a thing, but two angry ones… May the Kaiser help their souls.


	11. Report 10 Reinforce Eins

**A/N: People from AS told me that it's a bit too serious compare to the others, but I wasn't able to come up with anything better, feel free to send me a better one.**

**Mission Report 10: Blessed wind.**

The next day Yuuno Scrya was feeling that being lazy for just one day sounded like a good plan, at least until the damned headache decided to subside.

Yes, his bed felt very warm and comfortable at the moment.

"…ese,..iege, it's tim…ke up." Apparently someone had different plans for him, as he heard a gentle voice trying to wake him up from his condition of half-sleep.

"…"

"Please my liege, wake up." He heard the voice call him again as the owner started to gently shake him.

"Two more minutes, please." He managed to say in a tired voice.

When did he hire a maid again?

…Wait, he didn't…

"!?" Was his expressive response upon seeing the person that was standing in front of him, it was impossible to forget about that face.

"Good morning my liege." The silver haired beauty in front of him welcomed his awakening with a radiant smile.

"R-Reinforce?" He asked as his voice was finally able to come out. "How's this possible, you are supposed to be…"

"Master Yuuno does not remember about yesterday?" The unison device asked tilting her head to the side.

"No, can you tell me?" He replied trying to sort out his memories, with very little success. "And why are you calling me Master?"

"I don't know exactly what happened." The busty silverette answered. "But you were the first thing I saw once I opened my eyes, a-and then we had to … perform a ritual in order to stabilize me, and tie my existence to yours." She replies starting to blush as she explained the situation.

"Ah…" Yuuno remained speechless as he remembered what sort of ritual they performed, starting to blush as well. "I'm sorry…"

"Don't be, I'm grateful for what you did." Reinforce interrupted him. "A-And I-I found it quite enjoyable…" She muttered as her cheeks became even redder.

After the Device declaration, an embarrassed silence fell down in the room as booth the occupants were busy not looking in the other's face.

"I should probably start fixing some breakfast." The unison device said, deciding to dispel the silence. "Please take you time getting dressed."

"Ah, you don't need to."

"Please, let me show you my gratitude." Reinforce requested. "And I want to start helping my new master."

"O-Ok, I'll be down shortly." Yuuno finally agreed, starting to get dressed as the woman got out of the room.

Once he was ready the first thing he did was calling Chrono, even if everything looked alright he needed to let someone know before problems started to arise, and considering his luck they would come to him soon.

"Ohi, Ferret-boy, what's the matter, we thought that we had lost you yesterday." The admiral greeted him as the communication screen opened.

"Chrono, please tell me what happened before I went away." The librarian requested in a serious tone.

"I admit that we exaggerated a bit yesterday." Chrono started. "But suddenly you went all 'Screw this, if I can't find one I'll make one myself' and then you disappeared. What happened?"

"Well, I think that we might have a small problem." Yuuno replied rubbing the back of his head.

"What kind of problem?" Chrono asked frowning.

"That kind of problem." He answered, turning the communication screen to show his friend what was happening in his kitchen, namely Reinforce cooking while humming a happy tune.

"PFFFF! What the hell did you do ferret!" Chrono shouted, spitting his coffee, and making Yuuno very grateful that he was not in front of the young admiral in that moment. "Little problem my ass! I'm going to strangle you!"

"**No harm shall be done to my Master."** Reinforce suddenly spoke in a deadly cold tone as black wings sprouted from his back and red war paint appeared on her face. "**Did I made myself clear?"**

"C-Crystal!" The admiral stuttered in fear.

"Is there something on my face?" The silverette asked in a puzzled tone as she noticed her now master strange expression, suddenly returning to her previous appearance as if nothing happened.

"N-Nothing."

"Ferret, I think that we'll need to do some tests." Chrono informed his friend. "And there will be lots of paper work to do." He added sighing.

"Aye." Yuuno nodded as he watched the silver haired beauty move around the kitchen, hoping that her skills were better than Shamal ones.

Oh, well, he could handle that, at least his new companion looked happy, and he was sore that Hayate was going to be happy too.


	12. Report 11 Kyrie

**A/N: Written by bhl88.**

**Mission Report 05: Flower Petals fell.**

The next morning Yuuno squirmed around the bed with his eyes closed. His head hurt and it seemed like he couldn't move around due to the pain in his head.

He was sure that this was going to be his worst hangover, not the first, definitely not the last, but he doubted that anything else could top this one. The only good thing was that he felt somehow…good. That was the only way he could describe how his body felt. Meanwhile His mouth had something in it. It felt soft and it danced inside his mouth; he decided to continue sleeping while his entire body felt a land of marshmallows and ple- wait, pleasure?

He opened his eyes to see a pink haired girl kissing him. It took him a while to reboot his brain and try to remember what happened last night after Operation Wingmen started, but with very little success as the girl kissed him passionately. The pink haired girl finally released him as he started to tap her soft back due to the inability to breathe after a long kiss.

"K-k-k-Kyrie?! W-what are you doing here?", he blurted out with a red face.

"Silly Yuuno, this is my room.", Kyrie said playfully as she squeezed his cheek with her fingers.

"By room you mean...", Yuuno stopped as he got a sudden wave of headaches. "What happened last night?"

"I kidnapped you from those guys while they were drunk. Then I carried you to my hotel room, and I had sex with you while you moaned about how you'd like to make them pay. Then I had sex with you while you slept, since you fell asleep after the first round", Kyrie said happily.

Yuuno blushed and said: "I'm sorry, if I wasn't drun-", he started but was silenced with another kiss. Kyrie smiled and said: "That's what I like about you. You're so cute!"

Yuuno was so happy that she's happy. That's probably why the Materials took a liking to him when he came in.

Kyrie grinned: "Ready for round three?"

Yuuno sweatdropped.

He couldn't tell how much time has passed since Kyrie said if he was ready for round three but the last thing he saw was a field of flowers.

BEST END

Linith's Tutoring Session

"Welcome to the Purple Sky Dojo! The oasis in the desert! ... not that it really is an oasis."

Yuuno blinks as he finds himself not bound up in an apartment but in a small meadow. He is lying on a blanket and there is someone peeking at him.

"... moshi moshi? Are you there? Hello?", Levi said as she stared at him.

"...", Yuuno just stared up at Levi.

Kyrie was on the ground close to him: "This dojo is to commemorate the anniversary where Yuuno became mine!"

Levi said: "The answer that this dojo provides is: 'Accept your fate.'"

A scream can be heard in a dojo.


	13. Report 12 Yuri

**A/N: By bhl88 again.**

**Mission Report 12: No title yet.**

The next morning Yuuno squirmed around the bed with his eyes closed. His head hurt and it seemed like he couldn't move around due to the pain in his head.

He was sure that this was going to be his worst hangover, not the first, definitely not the last, but he doubted that anything else could top this one. The only thing he felt was that he felt good, but that he also couldn't move his arms and legs. He opened his eyes to find his arms and legs in a cast.

"Good evening, Yuuno-kun.", a blonde nurse said.

Yuuno moaned out: "Shamal... what happened last night..."

Shamal put a finger on her cheek while trying to voice out what happened last night: "Last night, Dearche-chan and Yuri took you here. Yuri was apologizing and Dearche was sorry too, in an indirect way. She said: 'I-It's not like I'm worried for Y- I mean, the mongrel!'"

Shamal also added: "Also, you received several second-degree burn marks, your hips are dislocated, two fractures in in your arms, a head impact... and a 9% BAC..."

Yuuno said in a matter of a fact: "What ha-", as the door opened up. Dearche and Yuri came in, each with a blush on their faces, with Dearche looking away. Yuri said, with a cheerful smile: "Let's do it again!"

Dearche whispered while looking the other: "T-thanks for allowing me my way... i-i-i-t was enjoyable being o-on top...", as she held the dark book in hand. Yuuno asked her, "Can you say it again? I coul-". Dearche stopped him: "Enough! Just take a good rest!" as she stormed outside with a blush on her face.

Yuuno sweatdropped at her attitude with a smile, "Yare, yare, she never changes."

Yuri smiled: "By the way, what do you mean by 'It feels so good! Please thrust-'", at which Yuuno interrupted her.

Yuuno said: "Please, forget about it...", to Yuri's confusion.

(Yeah, I think magic doesn't work on fractures, and the damage was major XD)


	14. Report 13 Liese Twins

**A/N: Written by HubiKoshi.**

**Mission Report 14: The Prey**

Yuuno Scrya was a happy man in that exact moment. While he could, with all his scientific authority behind it, claim that he got hit with the worst hangover since that time during the Unification Wars when Sankt Kaiser got totally smashed and woke up the next morning with the Dark King in her bed, he felt happy.

He woke up to the world of softness and warmth which surrounded him from all directions, though he did feel like he got licked all over but that was beside the point.

Yuuno Scrya was happy, until the moment he cracked open his eyes and saw this was not the ceiling of his own room.

"Are you up?"

A cheerful voice asked from his right.

"Yes..."

He answered still a bit dazed and half-asleep.

"Mhm took you long enough Yuuno-san"

Another voice, this one calmer and demure spoke up from his left.

"How long did I..."

He began but stopped, his sleep-addled brain forced his head to look down, first to his right, then to his left.

"WHAAAA!?"

He tried to bolt out of the bed but all he achieved was a little jerk upwards as two pairs of arms and bodies squeezed him between themselves, their long tails wrapped around his thighs like constrictor snakes.

"Where are you going? You said we'd have more fun after you rested"

The girl on the right, her cat-ears twitching with slight irritation demanded from him.

"Indeed, it is unfair to break a promise made to a girl"

The cat girl on the left agreed with her sister.

"L...L...Lotte-san!? Aria-san!? What are you doing here?"

"What do you mean? We had sex obviously. Hehe I had you pegged for a little squirrel, turns out you are more like a wild tiger"

Lotte said with a mischievous grin, Aria only smiled and nuzzled herself into his side.

"Wha...Why..."

He managed to stammer out.

"Oh we found you on the street caught in a huge mouse-trap with cheese in your hands"

Aria supplied with a smile, Yuuno stared back at her.

"Yeah and you wore that cute full-body mouse cosplay"

Lotte added with a short laugh.

Yuuno's mind reeled from what he saw and heard, he tried really hard to remember what happened last night. He remembered the drinking, the staggering through the streets and... yes Chrono mentioned something about luring some cats in and Zafira mentioned that Hayate had just the thing...

"They are sooooo dead..."

He muttered through his teeth ominously.

"Now now Yuuno-san, don't get angry"

Aria said with a kind smile

"Yeah we are not letting you out until we are thoroughly satisfied"

Lotte added.

Then they both attacked, pressing their bodies against him as they slowly advanced on his lips. The sensation of their bare bodies on him electrified him and...

"Fufufu seems like we caught a little mouse"

Aria said with a smile.

"Closer to a beaver if you ask me"

Lotte returned with a grin as both their hands slipped under the mattress and...

Yuuno blanked out, were it a certain adventure game in the world of sex-crazed monsters this would be the Ending screen.

He was not given the mercy that the sweet death offered however.


	15. Report 14 Hayate&Carim Chrono

**By ZeroXSEED**

**Mission Report 14: No tilet Yet**

He might be cunning, he might be clever, he might be deceptive.

But Chrono Harlaown is a loyally prideful of a man, something like cheating is beneath him.

When his mother encouraged him to romance his former schoolmate and current subordinate, indirectly manipulating the events behind the curtain, he countered with his own grand master plan.

He succeeded, said subordinate is happy with someone else, he's a free man.

...or at least, that's what he thought. He had climbed the stair of military and political position so high that it began to take a toll on his freedom, with the numbers of obligation he had to fulfill, romantic option become somewhat constricted.

Apparently, his brain came from her mother, but he has nowhere near her ability to balance logic and empathy.

He looked aside, and banged the back of his head to the wall, regretting what he'd done.

Strand of golden hair, it's curly nature tempting Chrono to stoke it gently, intimately. Oh, he had done far, far more than that, but back then, he's wasted as hell.

Wait, it's not curly

"What. The. Hell."

He wanted to scream, such broad back is nothing exactly what he remembered. The touch on smooth, fair skin. The curve, the works. No, it's definitely not a man, but what the hell-

"FERRET. WAKE. UP!"

Chrono kicked his bedmate so hard that the entire room shaken off, the poor, sleeping man hit the wall with a resounding *THUD* echoing throughout the hotel's corridor.

"Oh, man, I feel like scrubbing myself off my skin. Is this my karma for betraying my mother's expectation?"

_No, calm down._ He assured himself, this is not what happened, unless someone tampered with his mind-

_Verossa._

Man won't be this bad normally, but everyone is tanked to near death in the gala last night. If that's the case, Chrono won't get his revenge multiplied, for sure.

Not the time to whine.

"Ugh, my head..." the blond haired man muttered as his eyelid stretched, revealing a set of jade colored iris "What the-"

"I don't think THAT happened, or at least, not with two of us" Chrono hastily noted, his last scrape of dignity fought hard to kept his voice as neutral as possible.

"...Don't think so, but I don't remember anything after that vintage your mother brought..." the man nodded in agreement, while still struggling with his hangover.

"Well, either my memories are twisted by denial or someone responsible for this prank... best guess?"

"Something like this, it would be you, or..."

They rolled their eyes aside and chided, synchronously "Ero cosplay mistress of the night sky"

Following it, is a prolonged silence, at least until "So... friends forever?"

"The way you put it is creepy, are you not confident enough with your sexuality?"

"I am in a state of panic, right now, Yuuno, so QUIET"

"Okay" Yuuno decided not to press further, because sure thing Chrono's mind is screwed, never ONCE he called Yuuno by his first name, usually just ferret or Scrya.

Muffled laughter caught both men's ears, and they swiftly reacts. With enhanced strength and reflex of typical elite mages, they flipped the giant king-sized bed smoothly, revealing a pair of half-naked nubile young women underneath.

"Oho, the minx is the perpetrator" the young Admiral Harlaown smugly smiled "But who could have thought High Cardinal of major religion would conspire with her"

"Because it's fun?" was the reply

"You want fun? We can have some fun"

"STRUGGLE BIND"

It's such a complex arrangement that only best of the best can execute, the symmetry, the strength, the aesthetical value born from mind of skilled mages, with sufficient amount of perversion injected into their brains.

The thrill, the expectation, but most of all, the surprise caught Carim Gracia and Hayate Yagami. Both of them failed to react with proper response (not that Hayate is able to), and thus, both of them are put on a very humiliating, very sensual position.

"While I am somewhat interested with kinky roleplay, I think this is a little too soon"

"You only made it worse"

"Okay, I knew that... _VITA! SIGNUM! ANYONE! HELP US NOW!_" Hayate sent a telepathic distress across the entire Cranagan, to each of her knights.

"**_People reap what they sow!_**" came the reply.

And thus the Saintly Knight Carim Gracia found her inner, sinful demon, whereas the ero mistress learned the hard way that the meek one is dangerous on the bed.


	16. Report 15 Lindy

**A/N: Hi guys, I'm here again with few new snippets, but before continuing with the story, I want to thank everyone that decided to follow, review and PM me about this story.**

**Also, for those who had talked with me before this update, I know that I told you that the next ones were going to be Shamal and Levi, but I'm not satisfied with what came out, so I'll have to rewrite them.**

* * *

**Mission Report 15: What have I done?**

The next morning, immediately after waking up, Chrono Harlaown stared his standard 'post evening out with the Guys' checkup.

Hangover…check, decreased stress level…check, had fun at the expenses of the Ferret…check, had fun with Amy after coming back home….check, gut feeling that he had done something extremely wrong…che…wait what?

"Gaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!" The blue haired admiral shouted upon remembering what he had done the previous night.

"What happened!" A startled Amy asked, suddenly awoke thanks to her husband shout.

"Amy, bring me Durandal and S2U." Chrono demanded with murderous intent leaking from his voice. "I'll kill him, and then I'll kill myself for actually doing that!" He then shouted as he stormed out from the room with his Barrier Jacket active.

"What's wrong with him?" Amy asked to no one in particular as she watched the unusual behavior of her partner, in all these years she had never seen him acting in that way.

Meanwhile another victim of a mighty hangover was starting to wake up in an unfamiliar room, feeling something warm snuggling on his side.

"Good morning sleepy head." A too familiar voice greeted him from his side once he opened his eyes.

"A-Admiral Lindy?" He asked in surprise. "I…we…what…when…how?" He asked in a panicked tone, starting to notice some really interesting details about the situation.

Like the fact that both of them were naked, in the same bed, and that there was a distinct smell of sex in the room.

"You can just call me Lindy, I retired years ago." The teal haired woman said in a light tone, giving the panicking man a soft kiss to try to calm him down. "And after all the fireworks of last night I'd say that we can drop all the formalities." She added, flashing him a seductive smile.

"Oh. My. God!" Yuuno muttered as he started to pale visibly as he started to remember what happened last night, and who suggested this. "What have I done?"

"What haven't we done? That is the right question." Lindy told him in a seductive voice. "I would have never thought that you were capable of such feats, but as they say, they are always the quiet ones."

"May the Kaiser have mercy on my soul…" The librarian started to pray hoping to wake up from a dream.

Not that he regretted what he had done, but he was surely not going to like the consequences.

"FERRET!" Nope, apparently the Kaiser was not with him this time, Yuuno thought as the door was kicked opened by Chrono in full battle mode, holding his two Devices in each hand. "Come outside without resisting, I'll promise to make it quick and not too painful." The admiral declared in a tone that could have frozen something better than Durandal's Eternal Coffin.

"Chrono, this is not the way to speak to your new father!" Lindy scolded him in mock anger, deciding to mess a little with her son.

"Father?" Chrono asked, his expression turning to confused for a second, before his face turned in an emotionless mask. "Forget the last part; it's going to be quite painful." He declared in a tone as emotionless as his face, and why were his eyes looking like the ones of a dead fish?

"Let's not do things that we are going to regret later." Yuuno tried to calm his soon to be executioner.

"It's a bit too late for that now." The mad admiral replied. "And don't worry, once I'm done with you I'm going to kill myself." He added, smiling sweetly.

"Eeep!" Yuuno squeaked in a really manly way.

"Oh, for the Kaiser sake, nobody is going to kill someone today." Lindy declared after letting out a loud sigh, standing up and trapping her soon in a rather powerful bind. "And it was your fault to begin with young man, who was the one who had the brilliant idea, who was so drunk that thought that pairing up his best friend with his mother was a good idea, who was the one that convinced me?" The woman asked as he soon could feel something stab him at every question. "But then again I quite enjoyed it." The woman added shrugging, as her son could feel the most powerful stab hit him.

"That's why I'm going to kill myself too." Chrono replied after a second of silence. "And please cover yourself." He added, blushing and turning his head away.

"That's your fault too for storming inside my house, young man." The former admiral replied, paying no mind at her son embarrassment. "It's nothing you haven't seen already when you were little, you should be more focused on welcoming the newest member of our family." She added, moving closer to Yuuno and kissing him in front of her son, half because she was feeling like it and the other half because she wanted to mess with her stupid son.

In the moment something inside Chrono cracked.

"I think that we broke him." Yuuno muttered passing a hand in front of his unresponsive friend few times.

If someone had the ability to see what was happening inside the young admiral mind in that moment, he would be welcomed by a titanic BSOD.

"Nah, he'll be alright in a while." Lindy shrugged. "But I suggest you to put as much distance between him and you before he wakes up."

"Ah, yeah, I guess that you're right." The librarian nodded, picking up his clothes.

"Good luck." Lindy sent him off waving a white tissue. "And we should see each other again soon." She added in a seductive manner.

After Yuuno was able to put some distance between himself and the Harlaown residence a loud growl could be heard in all the nearby area, scaring the hell out of the entire neighborhood.

"FERRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTT!" Yuuno could only tremble in fear once he heard the powerful shout/growl.

Why did Chorno's voice sound that distorted? And why was that song from the mecha anime with the 'angels' that Hayate like so much playing in the background?

And was that Chrono running on all four toward him? Was that steam coming out from his mouth? Had his teeth always looked so sharp? And why were his eyes shining that ominous blue light?

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPP!" Yuuno could only squeak in fear as the Berserk Mode Chrono spotted him, hoping that he could conjure a transfer spell before that thing was able to catch up with him.

* * *

**A/N: For those who are wondering about it the song that plays in the end can either be The Beast 2.0 from the original Evangelion series or Sin From Genesis from Evangelion 2.0.**


	17. Report 16-1 and 16-2

**A/N: I blame bhl88 for giving me this idea, and I'm not saying who the girl is to see how many realized it before the end.**

* * *

**Mission report 16: Master!**

The next morning Yuuno Scrya woke up feeling definitely better than what he was expecting, considering how much the three idiots made him drink.

After scanning his room he gladly noticed that nothing seemed out of place, he was somehow expecting to find something strange, but he couldn't remember why.

"Master!" A loud happy voice startled him once the door of his room was opened by an unknown girl, who after depositing down a try of food decided to jump toward him. "You finally woke up!" He said hugging him tightly.

"Err, do I know you?" He asked a bit confused by the girl affection, he was definitely sure that he had never seen someone like her in his whole life.

The mysterious girl had long golden blond hair that faded into a cherry blossom pink color near the ends, tied in a high ponytail with a red ribbon, her pouting eyes of a ruby red color, and she was wearing what looked like a white and blue French maid outfit, that could have easily have crept out from Hayate's closet.

She was definitely cute, he thought as he watched her pouting childlike face, but he was also quite sure that he didn't know her, even if he was feeling a strange sense of familiarity.

"Mou, it's true that we have been apart for more than ten years, but Master should remember me." He cute stranger pouted crossing her harms under her modest chest. "Especially after what we did last nihgt." She added blushing a bit before looking at the side in embarrassment.

"Last night…" Yuuno stared to mutter as he finally started to remember that indeed something had happened the previous day. "I'm terribly sorry about what happened." He said bowing his head in apology.

"Why are you apologizing Master?" The girl asked cutely tilting her head. "It was my idea all along."

"Eh?" The librarian asked intelligently.

"I wanted to thank Master for having taken care of me when you found me." The maid explained. "Master didn't throw me away when you found out that we weren't compatible, and even found me a compatible new Master." She continued beaming at him.

"…"

Yuuno decided to remain silent as his mind raced to try to remember who this girl was, he definitely didn't remember founding a young girl anywhere, let alone taking care of her, he could not make head or tails about the living mystery in front of him.

"Being with New Master is fun and all, but I really really wanted to show my gratitude to Master." The ruby eyes girl continued. "And I always blamed myself when you were hurt before we met New Master, I wanted to apologize for not having been useful to you even if you took always good care of me." She added in a sad tone.

"Oh my god, it can't be." Yuuno muttered in shock as all the pieces of the puzzle fell in place. "It's not possible."

"What's not possible Master?" The girl asked in a curious tone.

"Raising Heart, is that really you?" He finally asked.

"Yay! You finally recognized me!" The girl cheered glomming him again and kissing him on the lips. "Hehe, with New Master I can't have this much fun." She giggled happily as she showed her affection to her old owner.

"Fate-chan, have you seen Raising Heart?" Nanoha asked as she stepped inside the living room of the house she shared with her blonde friend. "I can't find her anywhere…what's wrong?" She asked looking the petrified expression of her blonde friend.

The blonde enforcer couldn't do more that point her finger toward the opposite site of the room, as the shock was too much for her to handle.

Curious about her friend reaction, Nanoha slowly turned her head toward the indicated spot, finding herself looking at a young man with jet black hair and golden eyes, wearing a grey butler uniform, and sitting in fetal poison on one of the corners of the room.

"I've been rejected…" The man muttered in a sad tone. "And for a human on top of that."

Needless to say that none of the residents of the house had a vague idea of what was going on.

**A/N: Surprised? Disappointed? Enraged? Let me know if you like this little snip.**

**Oh, yeah, for those who are wondering RH looks like a red eyed Arnval Mk.2 from the Busou Shinki franchise, while Bardiche looks like a palette swapped Duo Maxwell from Gundam Wing.**

**And surprise, after some people on TFF asked me for a continuation, here it is.**

* * *

**Mission Report 16-2: I hope she knows that this means WAR!**

"So…let me see if I got everything straight." Fate said after snapping out from her shock and asking the mysterious young man who he was. "You are Bardiche that somehow managed to achieve a human form, Raising Heart rejected your love confession telling you that she already loves someone else…and that someone is Yuuno, right?"

"I'm also incredibly good looking too." The humanized Device replied in a perfect deadpan. "Sorry Sir, it's Schwertkreuz fault, she kinda brainwashed me. You are right."

"So, MY Device is now declaring her love to MY Yuuno?" Nanoha asked.

"When did he become yours?" Fate inquired raising an eyebrow.

"Not important right now." The brunette replied dismissingly. "What's important is that I hope she knows that this means WAR!" She continued letting out a powerful flare of mana.

"Aren't you exaggerating things a bit?" Fate said trying to calm down her friend. "And do you realize that you are going to fight your weapon?"

"Not a problem." The White Devil of the bureau shrugged, heading toward the basement of the house, and coming back with a Strike Cannon and a Fortress with her name written on them and custom decals. "I need to show that little traitor that you do not steal things from the White Devil!"

"Didn't you dislike that nickname?" Fate asked again. "No, more importantly how did you get these."

"Nothing too difficult, I just had to sign a couple of autographs and they gave them to me as a present." Nanoha casually replied waving her hand dismissingly. "And Hayate made me watch something that made me change my idea on my nickname."

"Are you really going?" Fate asked her sweat dropping.

"Yes, I need to show that little backstabber who's the boss here." The brunette nodded before storming out from the house.

"Ah…wait for me." Fate shouted, running after her, only to return inside a second later to grab Bardiche from the neck of his shirt and dragging him outside.

"Please be careful Sir, I'm delicate!" The male Device, who had tried his best to mesh with the furniture to avoid being involved, pitifully cried as he was dragged by its owner.

"Can't you at least call me Ma'am while you are in human form?" The enforcer asked, ignoring the Device complaints.

"I can't, it's inscribed in my core programming Sir." Bardiche replied.

"Pretty please?" Fate asked flashing him a sweet smile, and producing some sparks from her free hand. "You know, I'm a bit tired of people asking me if I changed gender because of that."

"I'll see what I can do Ma'am." The device replied fearing for his life.

Asking nicely always solves all problems.

A few minutes later Yuuno's apartment door was slammed open by a small blast of energy as his first childhood friend stormed inside, only to find her Device busy feeding the librarian with a content expression on her face.

"Sorry for the intrusion." Fate politely bowed as she stepped inside few moments later, finding her brown haired friend frozen in place, pointing an accusing finger toward the pair sitting on the table.

"You, hands down from my Yuuno!" Nanoha finally growled, snapping out from her shock and pointing her weapons toward the female Device.

"I'm sorry New Master, but you had more than ten years to make your move." Raising Heart declared, standing up and materializing her Exceed form in her hands, and activating the third level of the Blaster System as pink wings of light sprouted from her back. "You'll have to take Master from me by force."

"Fine by me." She nodded. "Bardiche!"

"Hai!?" The male Device asked standing at attention upon hearing her glacial tone.

"Give me a hand." The white Devil ordered.

"Roger." Bardiche replied grinning as his Haken form appeared in his hands; maybe he could try to eliminate his rival in the confusion of the fight.

"Bardiche you do that, and I'll personally proceed to dismantle you." Fate said in a sweet tone.

How the… right, master Device bond, Bardiche thought frowning.

"Can't we just talk about this?" Yuuno asked trying to defuse the situation.

"NO!" Both master and Device replied in unison as the battle started.

After having been hit by five stray shots from each side, Bardiche had had enough, and decided to temporarily forget about his rivalry to seek refuge inside the green barrier created by Yuuno, leaving only the two fighters and Fate outside.

The latter was there to make sure that the situation did not start to become too explosive than what it already was.

"Say…" Yuuno decided to break the ice. "I have three friends that managed to get me laid in a single night, how about we go, drink something together and find you a cute Device that fits your tastes?" He proposed, having heard about the male Device problem from Fate a while ago.

"I'd say that it's definitely better than going outside right now." Bardiche replied sighing. "As you humans say, the sea is full of fishes."

"So, friends?" The librarian asked, offering his hand to the other male.

"Friends." Fate's Device replied shaking the offered hand.

Meanwhile, outside, the fight was finally coming to an end as the two contestants were equally matched and were starting to feel quite tired.

"Why don't you give up?" Nanoha asked panting heavily.

"Because I love him." Raising Heart immediately replied in a similar fashion.

"But…But…I saw him fist." Nanoha childishly rebutted.

"Who saw him fist?" The Device asked raising an eyebrow.

"She kinda got you in there." Fate nodded from the sidelines.

"On whose side are you?" Her best friend asked feeling betrayed.

"Err…Mine?" The blonde enforcer replied, sporting a small blush on her face.

"Wait, you too?" The Ace of Aces asked surprised by the revelation.

"Looks like another rival appeared." Raising Heart sighed. "This is getting complicated."

"Then what do you propose?" Nanoha asked in annoyance.

"Maybe…we could share?" Fate asked in a low voice, fidgeting with her fingers as her face turned completely red.

"Uhm… that could work…" Nanoha muttered.

"It seems like the most satisfying solution for all of us." The female Device nodded sagely. "Count me in."

"Then it's decided." Her master cheered as an agreement was reached.

"Don't I have a saying on this?" Yuuno asked.

"NO!" Three voices replied at the same time as he was grabbed by the three females and dragged away.

The librarian tried to find help in his new friend, but found his hopes shattered as he found Bardiche saluting him, and having a definite 'My heart will always remember you' look on his face.

Meanwhile in the Yagami household, a certain perverted Mistress of the Night Sky was deepening her bond with her, now human, equally perverted staff. Through skinship.

And while their mistress was busy exchanging opinions with her new partner in crime, the Wolkenritter were bonding with their trusted companions, admiring Klarwind's elegance and Laevantine's seriousness.

"Why the hell is mine the only old man!" Except from one.

Well in their duo one needed to be the responsible one, Graf Eisen thought as he rolled his eyes at his master antics.

* * *

**Graf Eisen looks like Baran Doban from SRW 3 XD, for the rest, I have no idea.**


	18. Report 17 Vita

**A/N: And here's Vita as some people requested, nothing much to add.**

**Mission Report 15: Hammer.**

The next morning, even before noticing his head splitting headache, Yuuno Scrya could feel every single inch of his body aching as if someone had used him to play pinball all night long.

He knew that somehow it was the idiots fault, it was always their fault when they were drunk and in the same place.

"Ouch, I like a truck ran over me few times just for the heck of it." He mumbled as he managed to get up in a sitting position.

"Well, that's not too far from the truth." A familiar voice replied from his side, and if it was even possible, he could practically feel the grin on the girl face just from her tone.

Just to be sure he decided to check on who was the one next to him.

Yep, a grinning Vita, that explained a lot.

"Morning Vita, what are you doing here?" He calmly asked, letting out a sigh, Hayate had ordered her to sneak in his bed countless time to prank him; he was used to her presence. "And why am I feeling like you hit me with Graf Eisen all night long."

"Eheh, I finally took your first time." The eternal child replied grinning like a cat. "Twice." She added as her grin widened.

"How's that even logically possible?" The librarian asked, completely missing the implications.

"Easy, first I managed to break you barriers." Vita explained. "And then we had sex all night long to celebrate my success." She continued in a matter of fact tone.

"Ah, that makes sense…wait what?" Yuuno stopped as he realized what the hammer knight just said. "GAH! The damned wolf and the pervert sniper finally managed to make me join the dark side." He sobbed in resignation.

"You know, I'm actually legal." Vita reminded him in an annoyed tone.

"I know." The self-pitying archeologist immediately replied. "But think about the moral implications."

"Uhm…you kinda have a point." Vita nodded. "But if it helps we did it while I was in this form." She added before her body was surrounded by a flash of red light.

Now, where the eternal child was before, a young redhead woman, around her late teen or early twenties and with the right amount of curves in the right places, was now lying near him.

"…" Yuuno could only stare speechless at the display.

"Like what you see?" The adult mode Vita asked him in a teasing tone, moving her blanket down a bit to expose some of her assets to the gaping librarian.

"When did you learn to do that?" Yuuno finally managed to ask, doing his best to look away.

"If the kids are able to do it, what makes you think that I can't?" Vita asked back, raising an eyebrow.

"And then why didn't you use this form before?"

"Because my other form allows me to save money when riding on a train, when going to the cinema or amusement parks." The knight shrugged. "And I don't want Hayate to see it." She added shivering.

Yuuno could understand the last part, and decided to close an eye on her others, not exactly moral, reasons.

"And now what's preventing me from telling her about it?" Yuuno asked in a teasing tone.

"Oh, I know a good method to make sure that you want speak." Vita replied moving on top of him, and planting a deep kiss on his lips. "Or I can use more violent methods if you prefer?" She then asked as she separated her lips from his.

"Shutting up. Now." The librarian replied in a dazed voice.

"Good choice Ferret-boy." The knight smirked. "And, is this a ferret or you are happy to see me?" She then asked in a teasing tone, getting ready for round two.

The librarian decided that keeping her little secret was going to be fun.


	19. Special Report 01: Side Erio Report 01E

**A/N: Reply to a challege from Hoki, he challeged me, or whoever wanted to try to do it, to do a report featuring Erio and any girl(s) with the exception of Caro and Lutecia, I hope you like it.**

* * *

**Operation Wingmen: Side Erio.**

Once again, in a random pub in Cranagan, a group of people was having one of their usual periodic meetings away from their usual group of common friends, which more or less consisted mostly of exponent of the fairer sex.

Not that such saying had any meaning on Mid-Childa by the way.

However this time the usual circle formed by the four usual suspects, Admiral Chrono Harlaown, the Chief Librarian of the Infinite Library Yuuno Scrya, the sniper and helicopter pilot Vice Grandscenic and the guardian beast Zafira, welcomed to their ranks three new members.

As they say, the more the merrier.

"So, please explain why we are here again?" One of the new members, Signum, the Blazing General of Fire of the Wolkenritter, asked pointing toward herself and the two redheads that had been invited to the sacred ritual, a bit of confusion could be felt in her usually stoic tone. "Isn't this your manly men evening?"

Since when the evening started the female knight had seen quite a number of unusual sights, Chrono relaxed and carefree, Yuuno teasing the admiral back, Vice being… well more Vice than usual, and Zafira stopping to act like if he was part of the furniture.

She was witnessing the sides that the four men usually showed only between themselves

"Well, you see, as he finally turned sixteen Erio gained access to his rightful seat around this table." Chrono explained pointing toward the taller of the two redheads. "As for the reason you two are there… I'll leave the explanation to our favorite librarian."

It needs to be said that on Mid most people where capable of telepathic communication, however during the years the admiral and the librarian developed a sort of new way of communication based on simple changes of their expression.

The content of said conversation was something along the lines of what follows.

"Why do I have to tell them?"

"Because you are the most suitable one between us."

"Bull! You are just afraid of the consequences."

"And you have the strongest barriers among the presents."

"Coward."

"Afraid of them Ferret-boy?"

"Jerk."

The scientists approved that said method of communication is way more efficient than the standard known methods, as the exchange only took less than a second. Sadly it was also demonstrated that normal humans are not capable of replicating such feat.

"Well, you see, it was decided by a majority vote that you two are manly enough to join us." Yuuno explained the reason why Signum and Vita where there with them that evening.

For the first time in years puzzlement could be seen in the knight of the sword expression, she had no idea if she had to just start to slowly maim them or if she had to consider that a compliment of sort.

Vita just shrugged, with them around it was easier to get some booze, people knew who she was, but due to her aspect it was always a pain in the rear to get something to drink. And she knew the real purpose of their presence, and she would never miss the show for any reason.

In fact once Zafira let slip that when drunk Signum tended to enter in what he called her Funny Mode, and Chrono and Vice, and Yuuno too even if he would never admit it, where curious to see it, and Vita pretty much obliged them to invite her too once she caught wind of this.

"I…See." Signum finally said, deciding to spare their life for the moment.

Ah, if only she knew their true intentions.

"Ehm, Chrono-san, are you sure that it's ok for me being here?" Erio asked in an awkward tone. "It's my first time going out like this…"

"Oh, drop the formalities, legally speaking we are brothers, or if you want it, you can consider me your uncle, we are family." Chrono interrupted him, putting an arm around his shoulder. "And it's time for you to take your place between the manly men of Mid-Childa."

"And GAR ladies." Vita added.

"And GAR ladies." Chrono repeated nodding sagely.

"And I want to add that the lack of booze is making this event very unmanly." The diminutive knight added, pointing out the lack of alcoholic beverages on their table. "When are we going to get started?"

"Patience Vita, patience." Zafira told her. "Because we need to start with the main event of this evening, the young one need to pass his trial in order to become a real man among men." The guardian beast explained.

"And that means?" The hammer knight asked.

"Easy, we need to start corrupting the kid." Vice relied in an easygoing tone. "And infect him with our idiocy."

Erio could only gulp in shock as he took a look at the grins that appeared around him, and the apologetic look on Yuuno and Signum faces.

"Zafira, Vice, get the drinks." Chrono ordered. "Because today our young Erio will be reborn as one of us."

"Please Fate-san, Nanoha-san, Caro…someone help me." Erio muttered, shivering in fear. "I'm not picky just… someone please help me." The boy quietly prayed, hoping to be saved from the horrors that were going to be unleashed soon on him.

Many drinks later…

"How can I be of service Goshujinsama?" A definitely drunk Signum, clad in a nekomini and maid dress combo, asked Vice in an energetic voice that made her sound like a young girl. "Would you like a bath, dinner… or m-e?" She asked in a singsong voice.

"Please Vita, tell me that you are recording this." Chrono asked.

"Every. Single. Moment." The shorter redhead replied grinning like a cat as she held up a small camera. "So, what's up next?"

"I think that it's obvious." Chrono replied looking toward the other, definitely not in full possession of his mental faculty, redhead.

"My hands are so beautiful…" Erio muttered as he looked at said part of his body with a blank look on his face. "…They can grab things, but they can't grab themselves…"

"I know that look; please tell me that it's not what I think it is." Yuuno said as he started to sweat as memories turned back to him.

"Give up Scrya, it was bound to happen." Zafira told him patting his shoulder with a hand.

"Care to explain?" Vita asked again.

"You remember so time ago that I started my stable relationship?" Yuuno told her, receiving a nod from the short knight. "Well, if my guess is correct you are now going to discover how that happened."

"Let us start Operation Wingmen E!" Chrono enthusiastically declared raising his fist to the sky.

"SIGMUN KENZAN!"

"I think that Nee-san is one of us." Vice noted in an amused tone as he helped the leader of the Wolkenritter to keep her balance. He was enjoying it quite a bit.

And thus the horror was unleashed on the streets Mid-Childa again.

**Mission Report 01E: Stars.**

The next morning Erio Mondial decided that he would never touch anything even vaguely alcoholic for the rest of his life, if this was what happened all the times, he would be more than happy to never set foot in a pub again.

Ah, the joys of the first hangover and the ignorance of a still partially innocent soul.

However the redhead knight, despite the head splitting headache, could tell that something strange was going on, his first clue being the fact that someone was hugging him from behind, the second one was that there was another person in front of him. That was unusual.

Sure, sometimes when they were younger Caro had snuck on his bed when she had nightmares, but he was definitely sure that none of the two was said pink haired girl judging by the dimension of their assets.

Slowly opening his eyes he immediately recognized the orangette in front of him, and he didn't even need to look behind to guess who his other bedmate was.

"Morning Erio-kun." Subaru greeted him with a yawn from behind as she noticed his startled movements.

"Su-Subaru-san, wha-what…?" He started to ask as his mind froze, realizing his state of undress and the fact that he could clearly feel her nipples pressing on his back as she hugged him more tightly.

"Ssh, later, now help me wake up Tea." The cyborg interrupted him, taking one of his hands in hers, and moving it on one of Teana's breasts, moving her free hands the other one and groping the orange haired girl.

"Subaru!" The gun mage growled, immediately opening her eyes. "How many times do I have to tell…Oh!" She stopped her rant as she noticed the other occupant of the bed trying his best to look away in embarrassment.

"Eheh, Erio-kun is cute when he is embarrassed." Subaru teased him. "Just like Tea."

"Shut up!" Teana replied turning her head to the side.

"W-Why am I h-here?" Erio managed to stutter out as his face started to become as red as his hair, trying futilely to free himself from the strong, yet comfortable grip of Subaru, only managing to make her moan as his back rubbed against her beasts.

"Oh, we had lots of fun last night." The bubbly cyborg explained. "Vita-san left you with us while the rest were busy trying to contain a drunk Signum-san, she recommended with us to take care of this young man, right Tea?"

"R-Right." The young enforcer replied embarrassed as much as Erio was. "It was our duty, yes, our duty as your sempai to teach you… well that. It's not like we did it because we wanted to."

"Oh, please Tea, you totally enjoyed his spear." Subaru teased her partner grinning. "And I'm not talking about Strada."

"S-Shut up." Teana replied, starting a challenge with Erio on who could reach the deeper shade of red. "I just did what was needed in order to teach him."

"Oh…" Erio intelligently said as memories from the previous night flashed in his mind. "S-Subaru-san what are you doing?" He asked as he felt a hand touch his raised spear.

"Well, since you already are like this, why don't see if we managed to teach you well enough?" The blue haired cyborg proposed. "What do you think Tea?"

"I-I'm just doing this because I don't want all our efforts to be wasted." Said enforcer replied. "It's not like I'm going to enjoy this."

And then Erio realized that maybe that headache was definitely worth it.

**Omake.**

Once the operation was concluded successfully, only three members of the Wingmen team remained as Vice decided to take as much advantage of the Funny Mode as he could, and Vita definitely wanted to be there when the effect of the alcohol wore off.

Silently Chrono produced a small notebook from his packet, opening it where there was a list of names, and proceeded to trace a line on Erio and Vice names.

"And that's two more done." The admiral proudly declared in satisfied tone. "Let's see who's next."

"Otto is a reverse trap." Zafira informed him as took a peek of the list from above the admiral shoulder.

"You sure?" Chrono inquired.

"Yes, I overheard Mistress Hayate and Knight Carim talk about it." The guardian beast replied.

"Could have fooled me."

"You know, the more I know you the more I think that you are a sick person." Yuuno stated as he stole a glance at the list.

"I didn't hear you complaining when it was your turn." The admiral rebutted.

"Who's complaining?" The librarian replied. "I'm just telling you that you are a sad sick person."

"So, you are you two with me next time?"

"You have to ask?" Yuuno replied grinning.

"Who's next?" Zafira inquired.

"Another year and the new guy that's hanging arounf with the Nakajima will turn sixteen." The admiral replied. "If I remember correctly he's called Thoma."

Operation Wingmen: Side Thoma

Coming Soon?

* * *

**A/N: The Omake is more or less a teaser/challege toeveryone who wants to try.**


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